A cure for cancer is all I want, because thousands of people suffer and die each year. My Aunt Michelle fought for 2 years and now she is 21 days from death. It’s that time of year to spread love and cheer, so spread some to the loved ones far and near.
When I stumbled upon this note written at the beginning of December by my then 10 year old son, my heart broke on so many levels. My heart broke for his sadness, it broke for my own sadness, but it also broke for our loss of innocence. While my son has long since gotten over the impracticality of believing in Santa Clause, he wrote that letter from the tiny place in his heart where he is still holding on.
I still remember what it was like to look at the world through eyes that weren’t jaded by broken hearts, grief, and unanswered prayers.
This note reminded me of a night when I stayed up praying for a Christmas Miracle when I knew my parents were nearing their split. That was the year that I learned that very best friends can move away, that Mommies and Daddies can’t keep all of their promises, and that life is so not fair. I have only recently mourned the loss of that bleary-eyed, childlike way of viewing the world, and I think my eyes have finally adjusted.
As I watch my son move toward adulthood, I will mourn the loss of his innocence when he too realizes that Mommies and Daddies aren’t perfect, that it hurts when our loved ones go to Heaven, and that life is just not fair.
May 1, 2012 @ 3:21 am
Oh, sweetie – I haven’t had to cross that road yet with my kids (or a sibling), but my heart breaks for you – and for me in advance. parenting is so hard, and it’s even harder when faced with such big issues.
May 1, 2012 @ 4:44 pm
What a heartbreaking letter. I miss the days of innocence too.
May 4, 2012 @ 3:38 pm
Hugs. I am brought to tears just reading this. I know this journey hadn’t been easy for your family, but without trials we cannot grow. I see you blossoming in new ways since your sister left this mortal existence. You are living your life with fresh eyes and thru him you will be fulfilled.
May 6, 2012 @ 1:10 am
I love you darling!!! You are amazing and it’s no wonder your son is so sweet too.