As someone who uses her blog as therapy, I should probably take comfort in knowing that I haven’t been posting frequently. It seems as though “feeling good” is not good for my blog, so I may have to re-focus a bit.
Let’s try something new…let’s talk about how wonderfully things are going these days. If you are accustomed to and comforted by my constant despair and frustration, I hope you hang in there with me because I am sure I will be back to my usual self at some point in the near future.
What have I been doing??? I have been swimming in homework assignments from the therapist, inspired by awesome blogs and bloggers, had a second honeymoon with my husband, taken up gardening (sort of), undergone a few household projects that had been nagging at me, kicked off the summer with my kids, and have even taken a few moments to breathe. I have involuntarily changed jobs TWICE, said a proper goodbye to my sister, gotten real closure with some childhood issues, and I have a clean and clear wallet, office, desk, and car for the first time in centuries. Hell, I even renewed my driver’s license the month BEFORE it was set to expire. I READ A TABLOID MAG COVER TO COVER!
I have been experiencing an odd (and probably temporary) calm. Things are getting done, chaos has been kept at a minimum, and I am HAPPY. It is as if I have found the magic combination of meds and have finally found out how everyone else gets to see the world, but I never remember to take those things.
There is a part of me that wants to dissect it all and figure out where the happy came from, but fortunately the side of me that says “Shut up and enjoy it” is louder. So if the two of you who read this blog wonder where I am or what I am up to, please know that I am living in the moment and wishing I had the words to describe that feeling to you.