This journey is a marathon, and not a race…right? So in this path to wellness, I have been learning some interesting things about myself. For instance, I used to think that I excel in a competitive environment, especially if that competition was a long shot. So I signed up for my first DietBet and committed to losing 4% of my body weight in 4 weeks. It was going so well, I signed up for a second one.
Before I knew it I was focused more on the DietBet than I was on the big picture, I lost sight of my goals, became stressed out, and sabotaged my weight loss. When I came face to face with losing not just $25 but a total of $75, I decided that it was a small price to pay to learn this about myself. I let go of the competitions and the stress that came along with them. In the end I was within a pound of winning and was totally ok with it and my decision to not participate in these types of competitions again.
I have also been really working toward my fitness goals since my embarrassing two hour completion of the 5k in Savannah. I decided to merge my latest fitness interests with my passion for fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and join the LLS Team in Training program. I will have to admit that I was a little terrified when I was signed up for the San Diego Half Marathon right off the bat. At first I embraced the fear because stepping outside of your comfort zone is a good thing, right? But, soon it became about how I was going to get away for one of the travel team’s half marathons, and less about my fitness. The stress got to me and my workouts started slipping.
It is a bitter pill for me to swallow to realize that I cannot easily get away for the West coast marathons, the locally endorsed ones are too soon for me to be ready, and the one that I can drive to and be ready for also falls on my daughter’s 8th birthday (preventing me from seeing her at all). I am constantly
looking for room on my plate but this particular goal just keeps rolling off the top and onto the floor. I cannot decide if San Diego is something I just have to make the time for “at any cost” or if it is a rational choice for me to choose a more functional plan. I know that I am the only one who can answer that, but I would love to hear feedback as I take the weekend to mindfully and carefully make this decision. I am certain that I can hear many of your voices and the words you want to say already anyway, so bring it on.
One might say that I have learned how to give up or not stick with things, but I beg to differ. I am learning what helps me stick to the most important things and what does not. I am not interested in giving up my big prize of a long and healthy life with my amazing family to win a bet. This determination will bring an understanding of where my boundaries must be…eventually. Until then, I guess I must get used to some trial and error without taking it as one more personal failure.