I speak a lot about my “fit friend” Jenny on this blog, and there are plenty of reasons I do. Most weeks, and this is no exception, it is because she is an inspiration to me. You can read my previous post here as to why I did not join her for this weekend’s Jack and Back for MS, but I did go out to cheer and support her on her job well done. This will be the third year that Jenny has rode this particular ride. I tried to ride it last year and was left with nothing but the utmost respect for her efforts.
Jenny and I share many “wrong thinking” habits, we share our issues with mental health, and we share our battle with weight. Jenny has come a really long way in conquering those things, giving me hope that there is a chance for me. Sometimes I hide from her, because she is like the piece of me that knows better. Deep down I would be a stronger person, if hers was the voice in my head instead of my own. I think she could use a little of my voice in her head sometimes too.
I wish I knew the secret to get me from where I am to where she is. I know what I am supposed to do, but I just can’t seem to find the courage to give it my best. I know I am afraid to give it my all, fearing that I will fail. I guess I can’t fail if I haven’t tried???? But I have tried, I just haven’t found whatever I need to find within myself to just keep pedaling. I have heard that it is just mental, and if that’s true then I could be screwed.
So this, Mamavation Monday, I am just asking myself WHY? Why can I not give my wellness everything I have got. I am an Honors College graduate, I am the oldest of four siblings, and I run my house and my business with relative success. There is no reason that I cannot be successful at anything I put my mind to, so why do I not want to feel better, be healthier, and be happier. Why do I find it perfectly acceptable to just keep eating?? What is keeping me from devoting my efforts to myself????
Andrea Emilien (@AndreaEmilien)
October 3, 2011 @ 4:05 am
Wow – I could have written this post. Just know, you CAN do it. One step, one day at a time. I bet your friend would be more than happy to tell you her “secrets” too. It sounds like she is tremendously supportive. I wish you all of the luck in the world!!
Have a great week!
Lena - elenka29
October 3, 2011 @ 4:30 am
It is so important to have the right person by your side. The great changes will happen overtime. Just keep on putting on foot in front of another. Have an awesome week
October 3, 2011 @ 5:14 am
I hear a lot of different voices in my head. I hear Leah, Shelley & Amanda quite often because they have called me and/or I have met them in person. Shelley if the voice I often hear giving me lectures, which she has never done in person.
Sorry bike riding is not something that has worked out for you, but I’m sure your friend appreciates your support. The only way to overcome the mental is to keep on trying. It may never come but if you don’t try then you’ll never know.
Hugs for effort and knowing where you are weak and working out a plan.
October 3, 2011 @ 7:32 am
I’m with you on this. I just figured out a few things for myself and am taking a break from the scale to get my head in check. Good luck with your journey.
Andrea Kruse (@notimeMom)
October 3, 2011 @ 4:35 pm
Sounds like you have put a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed… find things that work well for you. My husband is a cyclist and after doing 100 mile rides with him on the tandem I learned there is a lot more to riding than just getting on a bike. I have great respect for those athletes. 🙂
Me? I love walking, dancing and shaking my groove thang in the comfort of my own home. I don’t have to be a triathlete to succeed (though I secretly want to be! Lol) but I have to do things that I will stick with. Sounds like you have an amazing friend who inspires you. That is fabulous! And I love hearing how you support her.
Keep working hard, have fun and find what calls to you. 🙂
October 3, 2011 @ 7:21 pm
This. Everything in the post is something I can 100% relate to. Especially the I can’t fail if I don’t try part. I have confidence in you. You can do this.
October 3, 2011 @ 8:53 pm
I wish I knew why good habits are harder to get into than bad ones. Right this second I am forcing myself not to tear into a bag of chips. I am crossing my fingers that I don’t give in. It does not come naturally to me. I am a snacker!!! Exercise? Most times I feel like I would rather someone just hit me! So, I have to take it 1 hour at a time. And I don’t always succeed but eventually I try again.
I am hoping that by being a part of Mamavation Sistahood I can start turning hour by hour into day by day and then week by week, etc. I know you can do the same. Don’t be too hard on yourself and know that you have the Sistas behind you!!!
Good luck to you!!!
October 4, 2011 @ 12:06 am
One step at a time. Take it one day at a time. Make small, simple goals.
And remember, you are not alone. Everybody has felt this way at some time or another (chance are most of us mamavation sistas feel this way quite often) so call out for a shoulder, or some advice ANYTIME you need it.
You CAN do it!
October 4, 2011 @ 12:42 am
I know you feel bad about yourself. I think you are suffering from what most women suffer from. Fear of failure and a mental picture of what “fit” is like in your head. A perfection complex whether you want to admit it or not.
When I lost all that weight, I wasn’t little miss perfection fit person. Those people annoyed me. I’m being truthful. I did it MY way. I did things that worked in MY life. I told myself it was okay to be me and to do things my way. I turned away from perfection because it has always screwed me cause I never was. I did things slowly, instead of with lightening speed like everyone else. And I didn’t apologize for anything I did. I asked for help. I utilized my resources. I did what I had to.
I know how you feel. I’ve been there. But I think what you need to do is two things: (1) Become okay with the idea that you are NOT perfect nor are you identical to your girlfriend. You will do things at a slower pace and THATS OKAY. (I did it that way). and (2) Give yourself a break. You are different than your friend. Chose TWO things to work on for about two weeks that won’t overwhelm you and make you feel powerless. Set yourself up for success not failure. Make small goals that are achievable. That is the way to go girl!
October 4, 2011 @ 1:47 am
One thing you have to remember is it’s one step at a time. Everyone’s step is different. Just like Leah said, it’s YOUR success, not anyone elses. You can TOTALLY do this!
October 9, 2011 @ 1:06 pm
I have been struggling with getting healthy my entire adult life. It is especially harder when you look back at your teenage years and realize that i use to be very active and not understand why i have let myself down. I have to say you have nothing to fear just take it one day at a time. i felt the same way about running and now i just love it. I found a few programs that helped keep me motivated and got me to a stronger point where i can actually enjoy running. Another thing I wanted to tell you is that you are ahead of me I don’t even know how to ride a bike and i am 26. I believe that you can and will succeed, just take it one day at a time that is what i have been doing and it has worked so far. have a great day!
Food blogging « Cultivating A Well Being
October 10, 2011 @ 1:21 am
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