I wanted to make sure that I wrote my Mamavation Monday post before finalists were chosen, so as not to let the decision affect my writing, (although I most certainly will have more to say after).
This week has been a journey in
self-destruction self-discovery. I was getting stronger every day of the 2week challenge and seriously craving those workouts as well as the hazing circuits that we were being given. I was seeing results and getting along well with the feeling of being sore from head to toe. That was until I woke up in pain, and found myself unable to sit up without tears. I took myself in and discovered a couple of bulging disks. No more workouts for now!
Now, if you could flip through the pages of my story you would see that this is a pattern for me. I love to work out, but I am a klutz and have taken myself out of the gym with some of the strangest injuries on the planet. I had a stress fracture in my pelvis – 6 months, A mysterious tendon injury in my foot – 2 months, and I even had Plantar Fasciitis take me out of yoga when I was in college.
The second half of this pattern involves me quitting. I would leave the Dr. with the news, and think “screw it!” I believed that each injury was a failure, and that failure extended itself to all areas of my life. Besides, when you feel bad, you eat the foods that make you feel better and lots of it. The downward spiral begins.
This week, I cried and cried when I was told that I was benched. I was worried about the Mamavation Campaign, yes, but I was more terrified of myself. I knew where the story goes from here. The first thought was to go get a couple of Diet Sunkist. Isn’t that crazy? I didn’t think about a burger, pizza, or a great big ole cinnamon bun; it was a DIET SODA that got me choked up. Maybe that was my first sign that I have changed, but it was never a thought for long. I didn’t skip a beat. I sat and thought about where I was, and just knew that I am not going back.
If I behave and obey orders, from both the Dr. and Leah, I will be back on the fitness path within the week. Until then, I can take good care of myself, eat fewer calories, and keep my head in the game. In the next few hours, finalists for the Mamavation campaign will be chosen and voting will begin. The path before me is not in my control, but will be decided by others. However, in the end it doesn’t really matter what the outcome of the campaign are. I have the strength and expertise of my Sistahood either way. I am among some of the most selfless and deserving women, so it will be an awesome campaign to watch too. I can’t wait for the kickoff next week, good luck ladies!!!
This week’s blogging carnival had a question that spoke to me, and I just had to address it. Mamavation wants to know who is my biggest inspiration when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. I get inspiration from many places, but my “fit friend” Jenny is one of my biggest inspirations. Although our journey often looks different, many of our issues and struggles are identical. I know that I can always rely on her to help me as a result of her own journey into health and happiness. She lost a friend to suicide this week, and together we have reflected on the times we each let depression and obesity nearly take our lives. Thankfully, Jenny and I found our way out of that darkness that took her friend, but not without scars. I have been thinking about Jenny a lot this week, and thought she may need to know how she inspires me everyday.