So a nearly 300 pound woman walks into a fitness class, no really, that’s how my story began to unravel. My trainer recommended a bootcamp style fitness class for me, since she new I had previously attended something similar and enjoyed it. This time, however, I am in a different place and apparently prime for an emotional
breakdown breakthough. I should not have been surprised by how quickly I ran out of breath, but I was. I was ashamed of my inability to keep up with the other, much more athletic people in my class. This triggered all kinds of buried issues that have been holding me back.
I am always really hard on myself, but I could tell I was on the verge of some really deep stuff. I found myself standing on a tight rope and if I fall to the right, I can go back to being oblivious to the seriousness of my condition. If I were to fall to the left, I would land in a pit of despair where everyone who has ever said anything negative would be there to remind me they were right. Here I stand on the tightrope that is my sanity and I am frozen with fear. I don’t even know how to take a step with awareness on my side, and what if I fall?!?!?!?
At this point, I am literally just hanging out on this tightrope. This is when I found www.Mamavation.com. A group of Moms, on the right track, a healthy track, that are a daily support to one another. Their community spoke to me in my time of need, embraced me, and gave me the extra hands I need helping me stay balanced enough to make my first step. I have some homework to do to get balanced, but I feel strong enough to get it done. Baby steps can still be steps in the right direction, right?